South Louisiana

Cabin Fever!!

Okay, so. You all know that I live in SOLA (South Louisiana) and it’s usually a mild, semi-tropical climate where the seasons are: Hot, Hot-as-Balls, Football, and Mardi Gras.

Not so much this week. This week it’s been C.O.L.D.!!  We had sleet last Friday, then an okay weekend, followed by sleet & some snow ALL FREAKING DAY yesterday. I have basically been home/ off work since LAST FRIDAY. I went to work for a few hours (2&1/2) Saturday but haven’t been back since.

I am slowly losing my mind. For reals…  I have done ALL the laundry, save what we currently have on our bodies. I have baked a batch of muffins and a batch of scones. The house is clean. My kitchen is  currently spotless. I’ve even washed the dog beds for fucks sake!!

I looked at TWH last night and said “I can’t remember the last time I shampooed my hair”. (Since I color my hair, I don’t shampoo it every day. Every 2-3 days usually does it for me. Rinse & condition. That’s it. Judge me if you like.)

Anyway, I used to read these FB posts by SAHM’s blatantly stating that they couldn’t remember the last time they’d showered/shampooed their hair/shaved their legs/whatever and I would think “Eeeewwwwww….”. Being relatively sure I bathed every day when the kids were little. (I may not have, who the hell knows anymore) I totally get it now though. You’re home, you’re in your comfy clothes, you may or may not currently be wearing the same yoga pants/leggings you’ve been wearing for the past three days. IT DOESN’T MATTER.  Everyone is still whole and breathing and you haven’t left the house this week anyway.

Having said that, as soon as it gets above freezing, Imma lace up my running shoes and go burn off some of the calories I’ve consumed (Cabin fever eat-a-thon, yo!!) along with some of this excess energy.

THEN I’ll shampoo my hair.

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My First Big Storm

Okay, so. I have a confession to make.  I have lived in SOLA for 14 years and this is my first Hurricane.  I know, I’m a weenie.

Katrina would have been my first real storm.  We lived & died by The Weather Channel that week and I had a pretty good idea of the SIZE of the storm, but had no idea what any of it meant. TWH, who was our resident Hurricane expert having gone through Hurricane Andrew, kept telling me it was no big deal and so I continued on with my life. I cleaned the bathrooms. I did laundry. I fielded phone calls from friends & family. The first one being from my friend Marti who lived in Japan at the time. I answered the phone to her yelling “WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU STILL THERE!?!?!”.  I STILL didn’t think it was a big deal.  TWH said everything was FINE.  I tend to take everything my husband says at face value so I thought everything was cool.

Until about 3 in the afternoon.  That’s when TWH comes into the bedroom where I was folding clothes and sheepishly says “Y’know… I just got a good look at the storm…  It’s a LOT bigger than I thought…  Maybe we should go to Mom & Dads”.

I stood there staring at him for a few seconds before I yelled “Pack a bag!!  We have to leave!!”

In hindsight, I could have handled that better.  TB was 6 and kinda freaked out.  He packed his suitcase with nothing but shirts & underwear & I packed like we were never returning.  I checked TBs bag.  TWH checked MY bag.  We finally got everything we needed to leave and jumped into the van.

Out normally 4 hour drive took 8.  We arrived safely in Minden around midnight.  We watched the horror of Katrina on the news.  We swam in the pool when we weren’t riveted to the television. We were safe. We were lucky.

Now we’re facing down Issac.  We’re not going anywhere.  Again, TWH says it’s no biggie.  Again I am taking him at his word.  Because that’s what I do.  I’m kinda nervous though.

I hope I have enough alcohol…

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WTF Wednesday (A Rant)

Okay, so.  I’ve mentioned before that I live in South Louisiana.  Recently, (as in the last year or so) we’ve had some major interstate construction going on.  As the construction has continued, the accidents have gotten worse. They are now happening at 1-2 times a week. Always during rush hour (morning & evening). They almost always involve 18 wheelers. They almost always shut down the ENTIRE interstate. It’s a fucking nightmare.
A few weeks ago, my friend Missy commented on FB about how big a pain in the ass these accidents & their frequency were becoming. I commented that these 18 wheeler drivers had to pass a test so presumably they were literate & therefore able to read the big, flashing signs warning them that lane shifts and lower speed zones were ahead and act accordingly.
I was SO wrong.
Fun fact: The driving test can and will be administered to you in ANY LANGUAGE YOU REQUEST. I find this somewhat mind boggling because if you can’t speak or read English, how in the HELL are you going to read a sign telling you important shit like Slow. The. Fuck. Down??  Seriously?!?!  These guys are driving big assed trucks that weigh TONS upon TONS, yakking on their cell phones, whizzing down the interstate, and very possibly cant speak or read  English. What kind of Dumbfuckery is THAT!?!!?
Way to go DMV. Another win for you guys!!
W.T.F??

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A Day In the Life

Okay, so. I live in South Louisiana. It’s winter here today. I refuse to turn the heater on because it’ll be spring again tomorrow. We’re using the fireplace instead. Here’s how The Dawgs see it, apparently….

Dawg:  Hey!! You got a fire!!
Me: Yep
Dawg: Hey!! You got a blanket!!
Me: Uh huh
Dawg: Hey!!  You got coffee!!
Me: Yummy coffee…
Dawg: Hey!!  You’re all warm & comfy there on the sofa!!
Me: Sure am. C’mon up & cuddle
Dawg: I gotta go out

Motherfucker.

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