Dealing With Other People (It Ain’t for Sissies)

Okay, so.  Yesterday I took Miss A shopping for a Prom Dress. Her FIRST Prom Dress, to be exact.  I was excited.  I couldn’t WAIT to see Miss A step out of the dressing room wearing the PERFECT Prom Dress with her face all aglow looking like a Pretty, Pretty Princess.

 

THEN her Stepmother stepped in.  Oh, y’all. Shit went downhill FAST after that.

 

It all started innocently enough.  I tweeted about Prom Dress shopping with my sweet girl.  My Twiter is hooked to my FB page.  I saw a few minutes later that I had comments on my post. I flipped over to read them only to find that Miss A’s Stepmom had commented about what I was to buy. “No strapless dresses please” “Also no spaghetti straps. Have you ever seen out child dance without abandon (yes WITHOUT) she’ll have a wardrobe malfunction before you know it”.

 

I’m standing in the store, eyeballs deep in strapless or spaghetti strapped gowns, staring at my phone in disbelief.  I laughed it off and responded sarcastically “Yeah.. THAT’S not an impossible task or anything” and “They make tape for that”.  Then I continued shopping.  I, honestly, was more concerned with fit and hemlines than strapless.  Especially since Miss A just spent last Saturday in a STRAPLESS gown that her STEPMOTHER had chosen for a beauty pageant she participated in.  I continued shopping. I was spending MY money after all.

 

Then Miss A’s phone rang. It was her Dad calling on behalf of her Stepmother to tell her that she’d better come home with a dress THEY considered appropriate or she would NOT be going to Prom. Period.

 

We were standing in the middle of the store and my child was in tears while her Dad demanded to know why she “sounded funny”.

 

I was livid.  I immediately go find TWH and hiss “You will not BELIEVE this shit” as I shake and fume.  TWH, reads the texts and FB posts, and listens to me rant then responds with a simple truth “Babe, there’s no point spending the money on a dress if it’s just going to hang in a closet.  While I agree it’s stupid and you’re right, it’s YOUR money you should be allowed to get Miss A what she wants, you’re just going to have to play along”.

 

He was right.  That didn’t make things easier.  I was still pissed as hell about the whole thing.

 

These people had taken something that should have been fun and special and made it a chore. They cast a black cloud over the rest of our shopping.  I hated having to go into stores and lay out someone else’s ground rules.

 

I did it. I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily, but I did it.

 

And we found a dress that Miss A loves.  She lit up when she saw herself in it and I did the Mom thing and cried.

 

Next year, Miss A will be 18 when we dress shop. I will buy a dress again next year.

 

I will shop under MY OWN rules.

 

18 is freedom for more than just Miss A.  It’s a kind of freedom for me too.

 

One more year.

 

Let the countdown begin…

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When You Co-Parent a Child…

Okay, so.  When you Co-Parent a child, you will have to make… allowances.

 

Allowances for arbitrary guidelines that may be slightly unrealistic.

 

Allowances for snide remarks and commentary.

 

Allowances for people claiming not to “Understand” your lack of good humor.

 

And you will make those allowances.

 

Sometimes you will make them with a smile on your face.

 

Sometimes you will text your best girlfriends in a rage.

 

And have a martini with lunch.

 

You’ll tell yourself that you only have to endure for another year.

 

You can do anything for a year.  Right??

 

One. More. Year.

 

Then your days of making allowances are over.

 

All the rules are yours.

 

And you will breathe a sigh of relief.

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I’m Still Here!!

Okay, so.  I’ve been AWOL for a little while.  It’s not so much due to my having nothing to talk about.  I actually have TOO MUCH to talk about.  I just haven’t been able to organize my thoughts and get them down.  I’m going to try to fill you in. You’re just gonna get the Cliffs Notes version because otherwise this post will be stupid long.

 

First, I’m still going up to North Louisiana every couple of weeks to help out with my MIL who is going through chemo. She’s going in for another PET scan on the 8th then she may be done. Apparently the tumor reacted so well to treatment that she may only have to undergo HALF of the chemo she was originally prescribed. Thank all of you so much for your comments and thoughts during all of this. You guys have made me smile more often than you know and THAT has meant everything.

 

Second, I’m branching out into what I hope may one day be a second career.  As you all now, I’ve been working on re-designing and re-decorating my house for a few years now. I’ve semi-chronicled it here on my blog. Well, my friend Erica has generously offered me the opportunity to re-decorate her kitchen.  I’ll chronicle it and use the photos to begin building my portfolio.  I’m super excited and super grateful to Erica for giving me this opportunity.  I’m also considering a design blog but can NOT for the life of me come up with a name.  I’m excited and nervous about taking such a giant step toward this (hopefully) new chapter in my professional life.

 

I’ve also joined the local fitness center.  Being 30 or do pounds overweight is so full of suck I can’t even begin to describe how much I hate it and how tired I am of it. The last time I was at my current weight, I was getting ready to push a tiny human out of my va jay-jay.  I’m over it and ready to do and feel better.  Both for me and my family.  A healthier Mom is most likely a happier Mom.

 

Add that to the everyday life happenings and I feel like I haven’t stopped. I also realize how truly fortunate I am.  I have a job that allows me to help with my MIL.  I have friends that are willing to let me “practice” my decorating skills on their home and I can afford a gym membership so I can make myself healthier.  So I can’t always sit down before 10 PM and give my blog a little love. I’ll find my groove. Things won’t always be so crazy and when they calm down, I’ll be back on the regular. Just don’t forget about me ‘kay because I haven’t forgotten about YOU.

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I’m Getting Around!!

Okay, so. Today I’m Guest Posting over at Mommy’s Weird.  When she asked me I actually thought she meant someone else…. I actually started to respond with “You mean ME?? Are you SURE??”   I’m a dork, what can I say??

 

Anyways, go check out MY post ( which is Awesome) and Kyla (Who is even MORE Awesome-er)!!

 

P.S.  Yes, I KNOW a couple of guest posts doesn’t necessarily mean I’m an internet wunderkind but ya gotta start somewhere!!  Plus, it makes me feel all special and shit.

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