I’m Struggling

Okay, so. TWH & I were in the car earlier discussing things like birthdays & I realized I’m struggling with my 40’s. Turning 40 wasn’t that big a deal. It was just another day. Just another year. Now?? Now every passing year brings me closer to 50. Closer to some major life changes and I’m not sure how to deal with it all.

 

This fall, Miss A will be a Senior and TB will be a Freshman.  By the time I am 45, TB will be graduating High School.  That scares the hell out of me. I have been a mother my entire adult life. My ENTIRE adult life. I was pregnant with my oldest daughter when I turned 21. For 20 years now I have been growing life or guiding other lives. Who in the hell will I be when TB leaves the nest??  I don’t quite know how to separate myself from the identity I have had for so long. I’ll have to learn more about how to be my own person. How to exist with just TWH & The Dawg.

 

This all makes me very sad & anxious. For the first time since I became a mother, I am afraid of what the future holds.  I’m afraid because I. AM. Not. Ready.

 

Of course, to paraphrase the exhilarating & horrifying phrase from the game Hide & Seek: Ready or Not… Here It Comes…

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I’m Not Too Old

Okay, so.  I spent most of last week in DC/VA hanging out with Miss A & my VA friends and I discovered a few things.

 

I’m not too old to laugh with my girlfriends until I snort.

 

I’m not too old to be able to joke around with my daughter and her friends.

 

I’m not too old to make a total fool of myself in public without caring.

 

I’m not too old to close down a club and look DAMN GOOD doing it.

 

I’m not too old to get up after just a few hours sleep and eat bad buffet food because I promised my daughter I would.

 

I’m not too old to jump on the hotel room bed.

 

I’m not too old for an adventure.

 

If I have it my way, I never will be.

 

 

 

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I Work With a Drama Queen

Okay, so. I totally work with a Drama Queen and it’s not even the other woman in the shop. It’s T. Which I guess would technically make him a Drama King.

 

In the 14 years I’ve worked with him, I’ve seen countless number of over-dramatic dramatizations of fights he’s seen, news he’s watched, movies he recently saw (major blockbusters he’s discussing with clients), and regular life-events.

 

I have made fun of them all.

 

The latest one occurred during a discussion about one of the local movie theaters changing it’s name.

 

Client Getting Haircut: Did you see —– Movies is now —??

 

T: Yeah. They haven’t changed the sign though.

 

Me: Signs cost money, they have to be made, and someone has to put them up. Those things take time.

 

T: Yeah….  And OH MAH GAH!! THEY GOT RID OF MY POPCORN FLAVORING!! I LOVED THAT STUFF!! WHAT AM I GONNA DO!?!?!?

T was referring to the (free) shake-on popcorn flavoring the movie theater offered that sat on a tiny shelf with the straws & napkins.

 

Client Getting Haircut: …

 

Client Waiting For Haircut: …

 

Me: Sweet Baby Jeebus!! That may be the most horrifying First-World Problem I’ve ever heard!!  I think I”ll start a petition to demand that the new theater provide you with popcorn flavorings because God Forbid you should have to endure an entire movie with plain ol’ buttered popcorn!!

 

T did not think I was funny.  The two clients in the shop thought I was hysterical.

 

T was SO outnumbered.

 

And he was all overly-dramatic about that too.

 

Total. Drama. King.

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