Okay, so. Many years ago, when TB was still in the single digits, he’d Nelson (from the Simpsons) “Ha Ha” someone when something unfortunate happened to them.
It. Drove. Me. NUTS!! I absolutely HATED it!! I reminded, and reminded, and REMINDED him not to say that to people. I thought it was hateful, and petty beyond measure.
One day, his class has gone on some field trip or other and I tagged along. When we arrived back at school, I checked him out. While I, and some other parents, were waiting for our offspring to collect their things and come to the office (we’re not allowed to go into the school during school hours here. We have to stay in the office) some kid in TB’s class was handing out birthday cupcakes. One little girl left the class before she got one and told her Mom she missed getting a cupcake. Her mom was busy telling her she could go back to the classroom and get one or she could get an alternative snack on the way home when TB walks in with his bag AND a cupcake. He immediately proceeded to say to the little girl. “I got a cupcake and you didn’t. Ha HA!!”
I saw red. I couldn’t believe how hateful my typically sweet, thoughtful, little boy was being by doing this.
I took action.
“Oh, Boogie!! You brought ME a cupcake!! How sweet!!” I exclaimed as I swooped down and plucked the cupcake from his chubby little hand.
TB looked at me like I’d lost my damn mind. “No Mommy. That’s MY cupcake”
I smiled at him and said “I’m sorry, but you lost this cupcake as soon as you were ugly to your friend because you got a cupcake and she didn’t. I’ve told you how nasty saying Ha Ha is and now you’re going to lose this cupcake because of it. Now let’s go get in the car”.
His principal saw the whole exchange and was valiantly trying not to laugh.
I have to say, here, that I had absolutely NO intention of eating the cupcake. I just wasn’t willing to let him have it because he’d been such a little jerk.
Then, we got in the car.
There was NO PLACE to put the cupcake!! None. I didn’t want to set it on the seat because I could just SEE me stopping suddenly and having to scrape icing off the dash and out of the carpet. I couldn’t put it in the cupholder because I’d have never been able to get it back out whole. I only had one option open to me at that point.
I ate the cupcake.
And it was GOOOOOD!!
I’m ashamed to admit that as I ate the cupcake, I extolled it’s yumminess to TB who was sitting in the backseat on the verge of tears.
“OH BOOGIE!!! I wish you could’ve had this cupcake!! This isn’t a bought -in-the-bakery cupcake!! It’s MOMMA MADE!!”
I felt kinda bad about that later.
BUT…..
We’ve never heard the snotty, derisive, HATEFUL “Ha HA” again!!
Life lessons people. You can nag, nudge, & prod until the cows come home but Life Lessons will work wonders.
“If you piss off your Momma, don’t be standing there holding a cupcake”.
Or DO be standing there holding a cupcake. It could be a lifesaver.
I had my godson with me in Atlanta and we went to Target. I told him he could have ONE toy. We went to the toy aisle and he had sensory overload and proceeded to see how many toys he could carry in his chubby little hands. I reiterated the ONE toy rule and he just clutched tighter. Once again I said choose one toy or there will be NO toys. He did seem to believe that Padrino Scott would be so cruel as to not give him everything he wanted, so he started walking to the checkout with an armload of Hot Wheels, Action figures, and a remote control car. I turned him around, back to the toy aisle, took ALL of the toys and put them back on the shelf, picked him up and headed for the door as he screamed his head off and crying and made himself throw up once we got to my car. We did NOT get another toy that day and he now knows that he can get ONE of just about anything with me, but ONLY one…. Rules are often learned the hard way, but they are lasting lessons.
It seems like there are times when the ONLY way kids wanna learn is the HARD way. Good on you for sticking to your guns!!
Once again – Super Mom! I sure wish all parents would teach their chirren that what they say, how they treat others, and how they (mis)behave has consequences.
xxoo
JulieU
I’ve found that using the “life lessons” are far more effective than anything else.