Okay, so. I am my Mother(s) daughter in that I like to plan. I say Mother(s) because both my Mom and my Mimi (stepmom) are organized planners. I find planning to be a balm. Lists soothe my soul.
So when a crisis situation arises, I like to make plans A-D immediately. That way, I have something to pull out of my bag of tricks instead of flolundering around trying to get my/our shit together.
Last week, there was no plan and that scared the ever loving shit out of me.
My Mother-in-Law has been ill. She, much like her son, rules in the understatement department. She told us she’d “Not been feeling well”, “Didn’t have much of an appetite”, and “Had lost some weight”. Then, last week, there were TESTS. She had to be admitted to the hospital and given a blood transfusion along with some IV nutrients.
After the scans came back, there was no plan. TWH left work in a panic and drove the 5 hours to his parents. I stayed behind and worried. I made phone calls. I tried to cover all the bases that I could but I didn’t have a PLAN.
Because how do you plan for this shit?? How do you plan for the potential of your life never being the same again??
You don’t. You hang on by your fingernails and do what you can, when & where you can. You cry in restaurants. You ask your friends for prayers. You pray for this life that is so dear to you and yours. You worry. Lastly, you hope.
Because hope is all you have and all you can give. Hope IS the Plan.
And that Plan has to be enough.
Now, my Mother-in-Law is currently home resting. She is having a small procedure this week and we will be travelling back north for a larger surgery next Wednesday. I’m planning on taking my running shoes for stress, a power strip for the hospital waiting room, and a shitload of Hope.
And quarters. Those vending machines are some finicky bitches and we’re gonna need us some junk food.
Think about us next Wednesday if you get a minute. Pray, send good vibes, whatever works for you. I’ll add them to my Hope and be ever so grateful.
UPDATE: After the Surgeons Office called Monday to set the surgery for next Wednesday, the SURGEON called YESTERDAY to set the surgery for FRIDAY. As in the-day-after-tomorrow so we are going north tomorrow. We obviously have a communication breakdown. Ugh. This does not inspire confidence y’all. Be thinking about us, please.