Communication Breakdown

WARNING: I am fully aware that this post will step on some toes and maybe cause some people to get their noses out of joint. I’m writing it anyway because this is where I get all the stuff out of my head. If you read this anyway, then it’s on YOU how YOU choose to react.




Okay, so. I told you guys a couple of weeks ago that we’ve gotten dragged into Cancer Town. Looks like we’ll be staying about 6 months or so, so we won’t be settling in.

Here’s the thing. We have a serious failure to communicate. TWH & I live 5 hours away from my In-Laws. We’re the ONLY ones on his Dad’s side of the family that live any more than 30-45 minutes away. THIS, my friends, is the problem.

We aren’t getting any serious information. We’re getting 2-3 line text messages on most days and maybe a paragraph if whoever is sending the information feels it’s necessary. It’s absolutely maddening. TWH relays the information to me and I immediately have loads more questions THAT I CAN’T GET ANSWERS TO BECAUSE NO ONE IS GIVING US ANYTHING TO WORK WITH.

It causes me to have long, incoherent, muttered rants where I try to use every swear word I know at least once.

It also makes me frustrated for TWH who has resigned himself to this. Who feels as frustrated as I am but doesn’t think speaking up will change anything. Because “That’s just how things are”.

I’m sorry. That. Isn’t. Good. Enough. Not now. Not this time. Not for this.

We’re going to have to work on fixing the communication breakdown. From both sides. Because the status quo just isn’t going to be enough.


  1. SpudStudScott says:

    You can request an update from the attending physician if M.I.L. will sign an access. Then you or TWH can call and get updates from the nursing staff, the office nurse, or if the doctor understands the situation, can call you directly. Write everything down so that when you DO see the physician, you can clarify and confirm and get answers.

    1. ginbaby says:

      We set her up with a binder so that she has ONE place to put everything the doctors give her. That way we can look everything over and write down any questions we have. Things have gotten a little bit better. If we need to, well definitely have her sign an access form. Thank you so much for the support and the information. Can’t wait to hug your neck!!

  2. Magical Mystical Mimi says:

    Ugh. I have been through this same sort of thing and am now going through it with my mom, only my sis and I aren’t dealing with family members who are actually attempting to be involved they’re just the “every now and again” family members who don’t have anything to say or who can’t come visit until it comes down to making decisions THEN they want to have a say. It’s maddening. – You will get through this. You’ll piss some people off, you’ll step on toes but like you said, now is not the time to give 2 or 3 word answers. Now is the time to share ALL info. It’s just selfishness and control issues and it’s irritating!

    1. ginbaby says:

      I’ve just about decided I really don’t care who gets pissed off. I just want to make sure TWH gets any and all information that he needs about his Mom. Having said that, TWH has gotten a LOT better about calling his Mom directly for updates almost daily.

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