Okay, so. I’ve said before that I live in Tha Redneckhood. It was never more evident than my trip to the supermarket today. Apparently, going to the supermarket the day before a major holiday ensures a “People of Wal-Mart” type of experience.
There was the fellow walking in the middle of the parking lot proudly displaying his “Summer Teef”, the large and unwashed, the ridiculously thin & reeking of cigarette smoke with multiple children in tow, and the mobility challenged.
We went into the store and bobbed and weaved our way around them all. Occasionally at great peril. We were almost run over multiple times by people wielding shopping carts like weapons and one particularly aggressive handi-cart driver.
We finally made it to the checkout counter. I damn near threw our purchases onto the conveyor belt. TWH shot me a look wondering what in the hell the frozen corn had done to me. I looked at him and said “If I don’t get out of here RIGHT NOW, Imma need JESUS!!”. I. Was. Done.
We left the store and entered a parking lot shopping cart race (unbeknownst to us) and we LOST. TWH was getting agitated at this point. We put our purchases in our car and TWH takes our cart, along with several others, back to the store. In a move of sympathy/solidarity with my sweet Hubby, I yelled out “Remember Baby!! SERENITY NOW!!!”.
He just put his head down and kept walking. Go figure.
The man just doesn’t appreciate my motivational skills.