Okay, so. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but TB is in the high school band. It has basically Taken. Over. Our. Lives. It’s all band, all the time in the Mouthy House these days.
One way it’s taken over the lives of TWH and me is the concession stand. Holy Fuck!! Y’all… I have always prided myself on the fact that I work with the pub-lick daily and have never managed to kill anyone to death with a blunt object. The concession stand may just change all that…
Because THIS concession stand is in Tha Redneckhood. And these motherfuckers are PICKY. Like two-year-old-in-a-restaurant PICKY.
And with just a mere 3 shifts, I was banned from ever working the window and dealing directly with this portion of the pub-lick. For. Life.
See, it happened like this:
I’m in the back, handling the fries when TWH, who is working the window, yells back “We need a cheeseburger with FOUR pickles!!”. I said “You need a WHAT!?!?”. He said, again “A cheeseburger with FOUR pickles”.
Oh Sweet Baby Jeebus. I did the only thing there was to do at the point. I looked at the girl working the burger station and yelled, LOUDLY “WE GOT A COMPLICATED ORDER!!”. (I can’t believe I actually got to say that in real life. I’m still a little giddy.) While my humor was appreciated by the rest of the parents and some of the other patrons, the lady I was pseudo-mocking wasn’t really that amused.
Later that night, some kid we’d seen no less than a dozen times comes up to the window and yells into the back “I want a hamburger with chili on it!!”.
Okay, for starters ya little shit, I’m not your bitch. I’m A bitch. I’m just not YOUR bitch. Here’s the reply he got. “NO!!”. He then demanded “Why NOT!?!” I answered him simply “Because it’s STUPID. Order something we’re actually gonna make you or go bother someone else. We’re BUSY!!”.
The parents working the window looked a little flabbergasted. I think they were torn between keeping an eye out for an angry Momma and giving me a standing ovation.
A few nights later, we were in the concession stand again. It looked like all the positions in the back were filled so I offered to take up a place at the window when a chorus of voices shouted “NO”.
Guess making chili cheese fries is truly my calling.
Because they’re never gonna let me do anything else.