Okay, so. As I’ve mentioned before, I have a love/hate relationship with the Spring. It makes me simultaneously joyful and sad for a multitude of reasons. But I try every day to chose the joy. Some days I fake it. Some days I find it. Every day I try.
This year has already surpassed last year in the joy category. I’ve surrounded myself with an absolutely amazing group of people who make my heart sing. I’ve deepened relationships that already meant a lot to me. I’ve created new ones that bring me laughter and joy.
I should, by all accounts, have no complaints. But then things happen like my trip to SAMS yesterday.
Yesterday I realized that Miss A is really and truly going off to college in the fall. I realized it when I saw an ottoman and looked closer to see if it had storage in it because it had a cute pattern on it and I was going to snap it up to put in Miss A’s dorm room.
OMIGAWD MY KID IS GOING TO COLLEGE!!! When in the fuck did this happen!?!? Cue the funk. Cue the tears. Cue the wallowing and the worry.
She’ll be 18 in a little over two weeks. In a few months, she’ll leave her Dad’s house and go on to carve out her own space in the world.
I worry that she’s not ready.
I worry that she’s enough like me that she’ll be too stubborn or proud to ask for help when she needs it.
I worry that she still leaves wet towels on her bed.
And wears mis-matched socks on the regular.
I worry because she’s my Baby Girl.
And I want the world to be kind to her. Even though I know some days it won’t be.
I worry, and I hope. The world is a big, scary, wonderful, amazing place.
I hope she experiences it all and comes out all the better for it.
Some days this Momma gig kicks you right in the ass.